Outrageous Fortune

(or what being a writer and applying to college have in common)

As some of you know, I’m a slow and intermittent writer. It took about ten years to get my first collection of poems written and published, and another five before my second book came out. Time has continued its uneven march, and I’ve found moments to read, to draft, to tinker, to organize, to revise and to solicit help from friends. And so after another long hiatus from such announcements, I am excited to share that my third collection, My Heart is a Museum, will be published by Broken Sleep Books next year!

When I finished doing a celebratory jig at my desk, I started thinking about the strange, erratic cycle of rejection and acceptance. What makes us dance with delight or raise a hearty toast is the sheer rarity of success. If you’ve searched for a job, volunteered for a political campaign, tried out for a team, if you’ve dated, and, yes, if you’ve written a book, you know the deflated feeling when an imagined future simply doesn’t come to pass. As a writer and a human who happens to work in the field of college admissions, I’m over the moon when a coveted acceptance comes in, but the truth is many high school seniors are hearing “no” from colleges in myriad forms for unknowable reasons: a rejection, deferral, being CAPed or waitlisted. These cold communications can drain our sense worth and agency, and lead to existential questions. There’s a reason Hamlet’s monologue is so often conjured up: should we suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take arms against a sea of troubles? Those are two options. But the dispiriting times in which we live make me wonder what other choices can be made when faced with grief and injustice.

What if Hamlet self-published a tirade against his murderous uncle, or went back to the University of Wittenberg (in an early draft, he was only 16) and studied more Humanism? What if instead of ruminating alone, he had taken a revelatory class in Poetic Self-Portraits (as I just did) with the poet Ayokunle Falomo who has a background in storytelling and psychology. He reminded us to take stock of our lives: the places, friendships, objects, and beliefs that shape us. And also that we are more than what we lack. If our current situation doesn’t sustain us, we can imagine something new.

We looked at this portrait by Frida Kahlo. Perhaps no artist captures struggle and reinvention better. She lived with failed surgeries, chronic pain, and, yes, a lack of recognition; yet, here she claims both heartbreak and agency by radically changing her look.

People won't always accept us or celebrate our talents. This is profoundly unfair. But in most cases, we can make a start somewhere. When feeling helpless, my friend Irena organizes her silverware drawer. My friend Carla, in need of hope and community, reached out with the seed of a seemingly foolish, creative idea. (More about Fool Hearty below!) There are almost always options, if we widen our view. Sometimes it helps to cut your hair.

I’ll close with a note to parents like me. If you’ve got a teenager on the cusp of a new chapter, try reflecting back to them who they already are. Scroll through old photos. Tell stories. Listen to songs. They may curse you for being corny, but chances are they are missing the days when they climbed trees, made mud, dressed as unicorns. (And if they didn’t, it’s not too late!) Sometimes we want to manage their time, help build a resume or improve test scores, and they are trying to tell us how hard it can be just to exist. We all need permission to adapt our course, as well as reminders of who we’ve all always been: beautiful and curious, extraordinary from the start.

What’s New?

Fool Hearty: Episode 1

Sunday, March 2, 3 PM

With friends Carla McElhaney, Cecily Sailor and Dee Susong, I’m hosting Fool Hearty a playful arts event, centered on the theme of the Fool, the first card of tarot. We’ll celebrate possibilities through storytelling, music, and poetry. Indeed, there will be kazoos! So, if you’re in Austin, join us and take heart.

How to Build a Successful College Application Story

Tuesday, March 11, 7 PM

Parent and Friends of LASA Master Class

In support of Austin’s Liberal Arts and Science Academy, college admissions consultant Irena Smith and I are leading an interactive session for families to help identify what truly matters and provide meaningful support in the lead-up to college admission. Tickets here.

Build Your Story, Not a Brand: College Application Essay Kickoff

Saturday, March 29, 10 AM

In this two-part College Application Essay Kick Off, we’ll discuss how college application essays fit into the overall picture of admissions, and I’ll share some sane and effective strategies for getting them written.