The Next Best Step

(And how clichés get it right)

Sometimes students ask me with concern if what they’ve written for a college application is cliché. My guess is they were taught from the same handbook I learned from: one that warns incessantly against the use of hackneyed phrases or unoriginal ideas. I mean, sure, clichés can read as trite or ineffective — but if mined appropriately there’s often a depth of meaning to be explored.

Recently a friend reminded me of the adage take the next best step. Anyone who has struggled with a diagnosis or hiked a rocky mountain trail or gone through any crisis (in other words all of us?) might see the importance of this one

Tree roots break through paths in Parque México: step-by-step navigation required

As high schoolers stride or stumble toward college, looking only as far as the next best step can be really helpful. It may be tempting to think there’s a clear COLLEGE ADMISSIONS MAP that moves a student from point A to B to C (take this AP class, get this SAT score, find an internship, start a nonprofit, win a competition, etc.) There is not. What helps us feel fulfilled can’t be mapped out all at once, but requires incremental choices, the best ones we can make with the terrain that we face at any given moment. Sometimes a choice may be simply to rest; yet, ultimately and at our own pace, we arrive somewhere — a college, a job, a new city.

When teenagers ask, should I take this class, join this club, or apply for this summer program, my reply is often do you want to? I know, I know, sometimes teens don’t want what’s good for them, but honestly they often know better than the well-meaning adults. The equation isn’t complicated. If a course in Organic Chemistry is offered, but your interest lies in Print Making, take Print Making. What isn’t obviously a resume builder might just help you navigate technical and creative skills. Perhaps you could even learn the origins of the word cliché — clicher, a verb meaning to “make an impression on a surface of molten metal.” Cliché (n.) the plate that was produced—in other words, a form of repeatable, scalable craftsmanship.

So I’ve come to embrace well-worn phrases and the impressions they make. Sure some clichés sound kind of like gaslighting: everything happens for a reason! But many remind us we’re not in it alone. Like countless strangers before me, I can seize a moment, control what I can and accept what I can’t. I might strive to take the next best step, which, come to think of it, could be read as either an incremental movement in the right direction, or as going for “next best.” In other words, Plan B.

When it comes to college admissions, there are countless “next bests” to choose from. As my friend and colleague Irena Smith likes to say, repeat after me: there is no dream school! Or as Angel Pérez, CEO of the National Association of College Admission Counselors, reminds us, freshman year of college, wherever you go, is essentially grade 13. Wow. Reframing it this way takes a lot of pressure off—look ahead to the next year, not to the rest of your life. (You can listen to his level-headed discussion with the College Essay Guy here)

Speaking of Plan B. Here’s a little spoken fact: not everyone loves college. At least not at first. It’s a huge adjustment. Roommates. Dining halls. Time management. Teaching assistants who pull out red pens (except mine was purple in an effort to be “nice”) every time a too familiar adage comes their way. Last night I watched a pleasantly rambling conversation between comedians Mike Birbiglia and Sarah Sherman, and both admitted that they disliked college (“...or at least half of it”). I looked up their alma maters to see what misery-inducing schools they attended: Georgetown and Northwestern respectively.

Is this Mike Birbiglia talking about Georgetown — or me advising students?

For the record, I’ve also heard Aubrey Plaza talk about rats, lots of them, in her NYU dorm. Fun fact: Plaza never made it past props intern at 30 Rock (though she later claimed while hosting that her “master plan” worked!)

Now as my own daughter embarks on applications this year, I’m reminding myself that no college is perfect, and no path is straight. We’re looking ahead to the next campus visit, but not to a final goal. Sometimes my next step will be to step aside, sometimes to step in and light the way with what I think are apt words of support. You’ve survived 100% of your worst days! I’m here for you! I will no doubt sound basic. But also, we’ve got this, right?

Coming soon!

Build Your Story, Not a Brand: College Application Essay Kickoff

Saturday, March 28, 11 AM Central Time

In this two-part College Application Essay Kickoff, we’ll discuss how college application essays fit into the overall picture of admissions, and I’ll share some sane and effective strategies for getting them written. Register here.